A brief overview of the mediation process, the sliding fee schedule, and my approach.
Divorce is hard. It’s really hard. The sanest people become a little bit crazy when faced with the trauma, uncertainty, and challenges of divorce. Witty divorce lawyers are fond of explaining that, whereas criminal defense lawyers get to work with the very worst people at their very best, divorce lawyers get to work with very nice people at their very worst. There’s some truth to that. So if you’re feeling a little bewildered by the intensity of what you are experiencing, take comfort – it isn’t just you. It’s everyone who’s ever gone through what you’re going through. You’re in good company.
For a more detailed look at the specifics (including the costs and the particulars of my sliding fee scale), take some time to review my divorce mediation overview letter:
Mediation-Letter-Updated-2What can you expect from mediation?
You can and should expect the mediation process to be confidential. Keeping communications confidential during the divorce mediation should be the first order of business for any mediator with new clients.
In Massachusetts we have a single statute that covers the confidentiality of the mediation process, M.G.L. C. 233, sec. 23C. The key points of the statute require the mediator to be one who has completed at least 30 hours of mediation training, has at least four years of professional experience mediating (or is accountable to a dispute resolution organization in existence for at least three years), and is mediating pursuant to a written agreement. These requirements may seem a little arbitrary, but there are no “equivalencies” or substitutions in the statute. If you want your communications to be confidential, then you want to be certain that any mediator you choose to help you through this process can meet these criteria. Don’t be afraid to ask when and with whom they obtained their required 30 hours of training and don’t start mediating without a written agreement to protect you.
You should also expect that the mediation process will be laid out in a way that makes sense to you and your spouse. You ought to be able to see where you are at the moment, where you can expect to be at the next step, and approximately how long it might take you to finish the journey. A road map is very handy to have if you’re about to head off into the wilderness – and navigating this terrain can feel a lot like that.
You can expect to set your own pace. A good mediator will provide a road map and help you stay on course, but won’t try to drive the car. You and your spouse should be able to get through the process as quickly (or as slowly) as you need to go. A quick word about that – sometimes the initiator of the divorce worries that their partner will stall or generally work against an efficient resolution unless they’re faced with externally driven deadlines. One of the counter-intuitive things about giving the non-initiating spouse more time to “catch up” is that by putting a little less pressure on a rapid conclusion, by restoring to the non-initiating party some sense of control over how the next chapter of their life will be written, you often finish more quickly. It isn’t always true, but it’s true a lot of the time.
In your sessions you should expect to cover everything that might be covered if you and your spouse were to obtain your divorce via the contested route – everything from property division, child support, spousal support, custodial arrangements (now more often referred to as parenting plans), health insurance, and provision for college tuition sharing (if you have children).
You should expect to get homework. The dreaded financial statement that the court will require you to prepare for your court appearance will be something you will work with (and other financial forms) so that each of you gains a full awareness of the financial options.
You should expect to fully disclose your financial information. Couples mediate in preparation for an eventual court appearance. Full disclosure is the law – and it happens to be the right thing to do. Failure to disclose could threaten the underpinnings of any agreement reached (among other undesirable consequences).
You should expect to be treated with respect as you develop a shared plan for the next phase of your life.
You should expect neutrality. This is sometimes described as being “on the side of a good agreement.” What’s a good agreement? It’s one that you both support and that a probate court judge will approve.
If you decide to mediate your divorce with us, you can also expect a completed agreement suitable for filing with the court together with all of the necessary court forms, a helping hand in preparing the necessary forms to obtain your hearing, and a resource to help you prepare for the big day. The ability to draft the final agreement for filing is one of the advantages of working with a lawyer mediator.
What does mediation cost?
A typical retainer in a contested divorce in our area runs from $3,500 to $7,500 for each of you – and that’s just the initial retainer. Mediation costs a fraction of that, from beginning to end, and the costs are generally shared between the two of you.
A standard mediated divorce covering support, property division, and custodial issues (from initial session to final signing) can usually be completed in three to five 2-hour sessions of mediated time, at the conclusion of which I will draft a separation agreement and help you prepare your court forms for filing. Some clients require more mediator time to reach agreement, many require less. My hourly fees are in line with other local counsel and I charge a flat rate for the agreement so that you can budget the costs associated with my services. For your specific price point, you will find my sliding fee scale described in detail in the online overview letter (included above).
Call or email to discuss your needs or ask questions. I am always happy to help you decide whether mediation is a good fit for your circumstances. If and when you and your spouse wish to schedule a session, the initial half hour of your first session is free of charge.
Laura Graham is a Proud Member of The Massachusetts Bar Association, theAmerican Bar Association(Family Law and Dispute Resolution Sections), and theNew England Association for Conflict Resolution (NE-ACR).
Contact Graham & Graham in Concord, Massachusetts, for more details about our law firm.
For more information, call 1-978-264-0695 or email us.